


Bringing Sexy Back

by sleepyfox



Series: Here's To Us [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, Oiroke no Jutsu | Sexy no Jutsu, Post-War, Team 7 - Freeform, Team 7 shenanigans, drunk!sasuke, male Sakura is hot af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:29:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28539621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyfox/pseuds/sleepyfox
Summary: The Fourth Shinobi War ended two years ago and things have changed. They're older, wiser, and closer than ever."I want you to teach me the oiroke no jutsu."
Relationships: Implied Uzumaki Naruto/Uchiha Sasuke, Past Uzumaki Naruto/Haruno Sakura
Series: Here's To Us [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2090802
Comments: 11
Kudos: 139
Collections: Extraordinary Naruto FanFics





	Bringing Sexy Back

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly crack, but also really happens in the universe of my main fic _Familiar Taste of Poison_ so there you go. It takes place when team 7 are roughly 18, so 7 years before the events of FToP.
> 
> HUGE thank you to my darling beta MSH for encouraging my madness.

“I want you to teach me the oiroke no jutsu.”

Wide blue eyes stared at her incredulously as Sakura threw back another shot of tequila and slammed the cup on the bar. When he stared at her open mouthed for too long, she leaned against the bar and poked his cheek. “I’m serious, Naruto. Teach me.”

Naruto blinked at her and then huffed a laugh. “Seriously?”

Her grin was lazy and just a bit tipsy, but she wasn’t drunk. Neither was he, and she was one hundred percent serious. “Seriously.”

“Why?” He poured them both another shot, tapping his glass against hers as they threaded their arms together and drank. 

Sakura shrugged, wiping a drop that had escaped her lips with the back of her hand and absentmindedly licking it off. “I don’t know. Why not?” She gave him a sidelong glance and quirked her lips into a grin. “Aren’t you curious to know what I’d look like?”

“Hadn’t thought about it before, but yeah, now I am.” He drummed his fingers on the bartop. “I think you’d be hot.”

Sakura shoved away from the bar and grabbed the bottle of tequila. “Hell yeah. I would be. Come on.”

Naruto laughed as he tossed down a few bills to pay for their drinks, following after her as she wove through the crowd and out of the busy bar. Sakura paused outside and took a swig from the bottle before she held it out to him. Amused, he took a swig of his own and let her lead the way. Out of habit, she led them to training ground three. By the time they reached it the bottle was half empty neither of them was inebriated. Naruto because of the kyuubi and Sakura because of her chakra-enhanced liver. However, they were both pleasantly tipsy and that was good enough for them.

“C’mon, show me!” Sakura spun on her heel and planted her feet, hands on her hips and ready to learn.

The jinchuuriki snorted with laughter but complied, setting the bottle safely out of the way before he began forming the seals. He did them slower than he usually would so she could watch, and she mouthed the names as he went. Seals complete, there was a poof of smoke, and a buxom blonde stood before her, hip cocked and lips curved in a smirk. “How’s that?”

“Very nice.” And it was, honestly. Naruto had worked hard to create this jutsu and the form was certainly attractive. Large, perky breasts and shapely hips, a pouty mouth, and long, dark lashes. It was still Naruto, and she could see how he had taken his own features and simply tweaked them to get it right. 

Sakura walked around, eyeing the extent of the change. She hadn’t taken in the details before but wow. Naruto tilted his head to follow her with his eyes, a cheeky grin on his face. He stood completely naked, the little clouds dissipating to nothing, but he was no more embarrassed in this form than he would have been in his natural one. She had seen him before, but she hadn’t paid close attention to his jutsu. The golden tan was still there, and she was amused to see that he didn’t have any tan lines. 

The night air had a slight chill, and Sakura paused in her inspection when she saw the gooseflesh rise on his skin. “You able to do it with clothes?”

Naruto tilted his head thoughtfully and then cancelled the jutsu, reforming the seals again while she watched. This time he wore the standard jounin uniform, long blonde hair still in the pigtails and incredible curves filling the outfit in a way that she was rather envious of. “Ok, you try.” He made a shooing motion with his hands and she made a mental note in how even his voice had changed. 

“Right, right.” Male body, so different musculature, hip structure, hair, jaw, no breasts… She murmured the sequence to herself before stopping directly in front of him and then did the seals. Her chakra molded in her hands and spread outward, reaching from head to toe, and there was a poof and wow, she was taller? 

“ _Oooh._ ” Naruto clapped appreciatively. “Pretty good for your first time.”

Sakura lifted her hands and inspected them, taking note of their larger size and slightly different shape. She touched her chest and frowned. She still had her breasts though, and a touch to her groin told her she had only erased her vagina, she hadn’t added anything else. Damn. 

“You really have to visualize every part that you’re changing. If you’re going for realism, anyway,” he said, pointedly looking at her featureless crotch.

Sakura rolled her eyes and cancelled the jutsu. “So that’s how you did it? You thought of _every part_?”

Unrepentant, Naruto grinned cheekily back. “Yup.”

She was a medic-nin, she knew the human body better than anyone. She could do this. As an image took shape in her mind, she grabbed the bottle of tequila and took another long pull. Naruto, still in his female form, strutted over to grab the bottle from her. It was impressive how well he moved in that body, hips swinging with just enough oomph to be sexy, but not enough to look like he was trying too hard. Either he’d practiced how to move as a woman, or he was a fast learner. Not unkindly, she would put her money on him practicing.

Without meaning to, she found herself gathering information from the various shinobi she had healed over the years. Hundreds of naked torsos cycled through her mind, long legs and thick thighs, lean bodies and bulky ones. She wove together what she felt best suited her, taking a little detail here and there until a solid image materialized. “So did you go for that form because it felt the most natural, or because you thought it was hot?”

Naruto tilted his head thoughtfully, swirling the remaining tequila in the bottle as he took a drink. “Mm, a bit of both. I mean, I dunno if I’d actually wear my hair like this long term as a woman, but it looks hot so…” He shrugged.

Sakura hummed and made a gimme motion with her hands. Naruto kindly handed the bottle over and she took a hearty swig before she set it down and did the seals again, keeping the image she had decided on firmly in her mind. A soft poof and she was taller again.

“Oh fuck, yeah, that’s a good one.” Naruto’s eyes were wide, his expression appreciative as he walked around her. The little clouds slowly dissipated, leaving her completely nude, and he shamelessly studied every detail.

She had chosen a form that was just a touch shorter than Naruto in his natural body, but with a musculature that gave homage to Sasuke’s leaner lines. Her skin was still pale and her hair was pink, but she had changed the style to be shaved along the sides and back of her head, leaving an unruly tuft on top that flopped over one eye. That part she had taken from Kakashi, if she were honest. An angular jaw and straight nose was masculine but not overly so. Not so much handsome as it was roguish. Her eyes were still a vibrant green, but she hoped they weren’t as feminine. She looked down and smoothed her hand over her cut abs, pleased with her physique, and even cupped her soft cock and balls, which earned quiet laughter from Naruto. Sakura lifted a hand and shot a vulgar gesture in his direction as she inspected herself more carefully. Not a huge package but proportionate, and a nice shape. She shifted her weight and watched with fascination as her muscles flexed under her skin. 

“Not that I’m complaining, but do it again with clothes this time.”

Sakura looked up at him through her hair and grinned, more than a little pleased with herself as he pursed his lips and whistled.

“Seriously, Sakura, you’re hot. Just try it with clothes now.” He waggled his fingers at her, and she snorted with laughter, obediently cancelling the jutsu.

A slow grin spread across her lips as she decided on an outfit, and she did the seals again. Naruto crowed with laughter, clapping his hands and doing a little dance in place when the smoke dissipated. Sakura tucked her hands in the pockets of the form fitting black pants, rolling her now-broad shoulders to get used to the feel of the skin tight black shirt that left her arms bare. It was a version of the ANBU uniform, sans white vest and arm guards for simplicity’s sake, but she wasn’t about to give up the chance to dress in an outfit that was a very real aphrodisiac. 

“ _Yes!_ I love it!” Naruto wiggled his hips again in a way that was entirely too distracting. 

Sakura took a step toward him, and frowned at the difference in her center of balance. She had known it would be different in theory, but it was something else entirely in practice. It took a few steps and a jump or two before she felt she had a tentative handle on it. Naruto trotted along beside her, and she was amused to see the way he very quickly had to cross his arms over his chest to keep his breasts from bouncing too much.

“Should have worn a bra, huh.” Her amusement fizzled into wonder at the warm tenor of her own voice. She hadn’t exactly thought of how she would sound, but found that she rather liked the result. 

“To be fair, I don’t usually go far when I do this jutsu.” Naruto cancelled the jutsu and chewed his lip a moment before performing the seals again. The difference was subtle, but Sakura saw the evidence of a bra even under the baggy shirt. He gave an experimental bounce on his toes and grinned at her when his breasts didn’t threaten to smack him in the chin.

Sakura snorted and began to stretch, testing her limbs for flexibility and strength. Even in a male body, she retained the same flexibility she had as a woman, but the increased musculature was different and she wondered what would happen if she were to try fighting in this form.

“You wanna spar?”

Naruto squatted down to her level in a position that was in no way ladylike but was so inherently _Naruto_ that she had to fight back a laugh. “What, like this?”

“Yeah.” She stretched her arms above her head and arched her back, mildly amused with the way Naruto’s eyes roved over her form shamelessly. It wasn’t much different from how he usually looked at her, especially after they had fallen into bed together shortly after the war. She was intimately acquainted with his body, and while she didn’t see him romantically, she did take comfort in his body just as he did in hers.

“Haven’t done that either.” Naruto straightened and bounced again on his toes, seemingly delighted with the bra he had given himself. “All right, let’s do it. Just taijutsu?”

Sakura cracked her neck and shook out her shoulders. “Yeah, sounds good.” The moment the words left her mouth, she sprang at him. Naruto howled a challenge and they met with a flurry of limbs. Sakura very quickly realized that not only was her center of gravity different, but her longer reach was also going to be a challenge and she fought to adjust accordingly. Naruto, in contrast, had lost his greater reach, and seemed to be struggling with his breasts again. 

The fight was quick and dirty, but they both learned as they went and the hits started to land. Sakura was careful not to add chakra to her movements, but her masculine body was more powerful than her true one. She knew that Naruto would be bruised... Until the kyuubi healed him, anyway. Both of them took it seriously, working hard to overpower the other, but it was also distracting at the same time. Their oiroke no jutsu forms were, well, _sexy_ and neither one of them was truly immune.

A light sheen of sweat coated their skin when Sakura finally called a halt, soft laughter bubbling from her lips when Naruto slapped her ass before flopping back on the ground beside the tequila bottle. Sakura sat down beside him and nudged him with her foot, but he waved her off and wiggled against the ground, frowning. She watched with interest as he sat up and yanked his shirt off, her eyes widening when she saw the problem. Of course he had given himself a lacy bra. She began to laugh when she saw that the underwire had broken and was stabbing into his tit. He scowled at her and reached behind his back to unhook it and then throw it on the ground. Bare from the waist up, he poked at the injured breast dejectedly.

“You should have worn chest bindings or a sports bra. Idiot.” She rested her cheek on her knee, shoulders shaking with laughter when Naruto pouted at her. 

“In my defense, I’ve never had to wear a bra before,” he argued, grabbing the shirt and tugging it back over his head. 

Sakura snorted but didn’t comment, shifting her gaze to the trees on the other side of training ground three where she felt a familiar chakra signature approaching. Naruto noticed it at the same time and straightened.

“Oi, teme!” he yelled cheerily as Sasuke stepped out of the treeline. 

The Uchiha regarded them both with a tiny wrinkle between his brows, but didn’t turn right back around like Sakura knew he was thinking about doing. The slight unsteadiness of his steps was enough evidence for her to realize that he had been drinking too. However, unlike her and Naruto, Sasuke couldn’t hold his liquor. His unhurried gait gave them ample time to see just how inebriated he was, and she and Naruto exchanged amused glances. 

“What are you two doing?” There was a touch of disdain in his voice, but Sakura didn’t take offense like she once would have. Instead, it made her want to pinch his cheeks. He really was like a cranky cat. He fought back when anyone tried to get close - although it was more of a show with Naruto - but if it was his idea to approach, that was a different story. 

Sasuke stopped several paces away, dark hair falling over his eyes as he watched them with a mixture of curiosity and concentration. He tossed his head to move the hair and Sakura bit her lip to keep from laughing when it nearly unbalanced him.

“Sakura wanted to learn oiroke no jutsu. She’s pretty hot, right?” Naruto rocked from side to side where he sat, unable to hide his excitement. 

Sasuke’s eyes roved over her carefully, and she stayed perfectly still as he took in the details of her oiroke no jutsu. True to form, there was no real reaction from the Uchiha, not that she was that surprised. Even drunk, it was hard to get anything out of him.

The only evidence that he wasn’t averse to it was the fact that he studied her for longer than a second. He shifted his weight, the tiny frown still creasing his brow. “Why?” he asked finally.

Sakura lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Why not?”

Naruto’s eyes widened and he leaned forward excitedly. “Oi, oi! You should try it too!”

Sasuke scowled. “No.”

“Oh, come on!” Naruto whined, reaching forward to tug on Sasuke’s pant leg. Sasuke looked down and carefully tugged his leg away, nearly unbalancing himself again. “It’ll be fun!”

“No.” His scowl turned mulish and Sakura had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing. _Angry. Cat._

“Maa, he probably can’t do it anyway, Naruto,” she drawled, leaning forward to grab the bottle of tequila and taking another swig. 

Sasuke stiffened, narrowing his eyes at her in offense. “Can too.”

Sakura paused in taking another drink. “Prove it.”

Naruto winked at her, which somehow went unnoticed by Sasuke since he was too busy glaring at Sakura. “You know the seals, asshole?”

“Tch.” He paused, frowning again, and Sakura hid her smile behind the tequila bottle. “Show me.”

Naruto cheerfully cancelled the jutsu and got to his feet, waiting patiently for Sasuke to activate his Sharingan before he did the jutsu again. Sakura watched with interest as Sasuke seemed to think about it carefully for several minutes, looking at his hand. It would certainly be more difficult for him because he hadn’t allowed Tsunade to give him another arm, but Sakura had faith that he would manage it anyway. He was too stubborn not to. True to form, he formed abbreviated seals with his remaining hand and with a poof, stood before them with an expression that looked triumphant and still stupidly sexy.

His teammates gave him a critical once over, taking in the long black hair that hung to the middle of his back and the alabaster skin, the full pouty lips and inky lashes that cast shadows on his cheekbones. Unlike Naruto, his figure was slender but shapely, his breasts relatively small but well formed, and his hips curved gently into long, toned legs. Sakura was only mildly annoyed that he had gotten it the first time, but she wasn’t all that surprised. The Sharingan was cheating, anyway.

Sasuke swayed slightly and frowned, lifting his arm to see the gooseflesh forming on his skin. He stared at it for a moment before cancelling the jutsu and trying again. This time he was wearing a simple pair of regulation pants and a long sleeved shirt. Seemingly satisfied, he nodded to himself and gave Sakura a triumphant look.

Amused, Sakura held out the tequila bottle and he stumbled forward to take it from her. He really didn’t need more alcohol, given how drunk he already was, but she wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity to see a sloshed Uchiha. 

“Good job,” she said as he dropped to the ground between them and then took a healthy swig from the bottle. Sasuke inclined his head as he gracefully accepted her compliment and she bit back a snort of laughter at how ridiculous he was.

“Was easy,” he slurred, frowning at the bottle.

“Mmhmm.” She wasn’t going to argue with him, and neither was Naruto, although he was too busy laughing behind his hands to really say anything of note anyway. “You ever have sex in this jutsu?”

Sasuke almost dropped the tequila bottle but she ignored him in favor of watching Naruto drop his hands in his lap and squint at the sky. “No, but… Huh.” He frowned and dropped his gaze to the ground, missing the way that Sasuke was staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers. Sakura vaguely wondered if they would actually fall out of his head at some point.

Naruto finally looked up at her, his mouth quirked in an amused smile. “Interesting, but it’d be kinda weird.” He scratched his head and ended up tugging on one of the pigtails. “The jutsu is fun, but it’s not _my_ body, y’know?”

Sakura hummed in agreement, but her mind was also busy whirling through the possibilities. She understood what he meant by saying it wasn’t his body. She was born female and was comfortable in that form. It was an intrinsic part of her identity. Perhaps her curiosity was more clinical than sexual, but the idea wouldn’t leave.

Still ignoring Sasuke, Naruto huffed out a laugh. “You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you.”

She didn’t bother denying it. Just to mess with Sasuke, whose gaze was pinballing between them with increasing alarm, she tilted her head to the side and gave Naruto a sly grin. “Wanna try it?”

Blond eyebrows raised in amusement, Naruto regarded her thoughtfully. “For science, right?”

“Right.” She rested her chin on her arm, unable to stop herself from grinning lazily at him.

She was only mostly joking with her question, it was more to see Sasuke turn that interesting shade of pink than to actually have sex, but the thought did have interesting possibilities. Naruto seemed to agree, and of course he had to up the ante.

“Yeah, alright. Hey, teme. Wanna join us and make it a threesome?” His cheeky grin was turned toward the Uchiha, who was making offended squeaking noises as he drew his knees up almost to protect himself from his teammates.

“ _Pfft._ ” Sakura finally lost it and had to bury her head in her arms as she burst out laughing. There was a thud as Naruto collapsed on the ground in a fit of laughter, and she could practically feel Sasuke’s glare.

“I hate you both,” he muttered, cuddling the nearly empty tequila bottle to his chest. 

“Sure ya do,” Naruto said between giggles, patting Sasuke’s knee. Sasuke glared at the offending hand and shuffled away from him.

“Hate,” he insisted, holding the bottle tighter and leaning farther away from Naruto. Consequently, he was getting closer to Sakura, and she almost poked his shoulder just to see how far he would jump.

“Mmhmm.” She grinned when her hum was enough to startle him, but she made no move to touch him. This seemed to placate him somewhat, because he shuffled closer to her and away from Naruto’s poking fingers. 

_He really is like a cat,_ she mused as she watched him return his glare to Naruto. Even when he drank the rest of the tequila, his eyes were narrowed suspiciously and locked on the jinchuuriki. 

There hadn’t been much tequila left, but knowing Sasuke’s limited tolerance for alcohol and how inebriated he had been before joining them, she knew that he would be hurting in the morning. “Mm. Let’s get some water somewhere. I’m thirsty.” She didn’t look at Sasuke when she said it, addressing the general area instead, and Naruto quickly caught on.

“Good idea. Up you get, teme.” Naruto gracefully rolled to his feet and offered a hand to Sasuke, who batted it away before he tried to stand. Sakura watched in amusement as he tipped dangerously to one side before he caught himself and managed to stumble to his feet. He paused, blinking owlishly as the blood rushed to his head, and she almost felt bad for him. He blinked again a moment later and scowled at Naruto, for no discernable reason that she could see, and began leading the way out of training ground three, more or less in the general direction of the village. Sakura fell into step beside him, angling her body slightly to herd him when he began to shift his path too far. She didn’t even have to touch him, simply move a little closer, and he shuffled in the other direction. It would have been insulting if it weren’t so fucking _Sasuke_. Instead, she chose to be amused. It was even funnier that he had not cancelled the jutsu, and seemed to have forgotten about it entirely. The only reason she didn’t cancel it on herself was because she knew the resulting change would startle him into canceling his. She wanted to see how long it would take for him to do it on his own. He normally wouldn’t be caught dead participating in one of Naruto’s shenanigans, but drunk Sasuke was a different beast and she was going to milk it for all it was worth.

It shouldn’t have surprised her that he was heading toward her apartment, but it sort of did. Team 7 often went to her during a medical emergency, much to her irritation, instead of the hospital. It had become a sort of unofficial clinic and clubhouse. Naruto and Sai both had a key. She would have offered one to Sasuke and Kakashi if they ever used the door, but they never did. It wouldn’t surprise her if she had more of their clothes stashed away in her closet than her own at this point. She had stopped setting traps on her windows years ago. Her boys would just disable them to invade her apartment anyway. She figured that anyone stupid enough to break in would be caught soon enough by her frequent house guests, if not by her personally. She even kept a tin of dog biscuits for Kakashi’s ninken for whenever they stopped by. Pakkun would neither confirm nor deny whether or not Kakashi sanctioned half of their visits, and she was too amused to rat them out. Even Sai spent time in her apartment, and his art decorated the walls more than any other artist’s. It was rather comforting to know that her boys trusted her so much that they came to her first after a mission, to the point where her home was _their_ home, too.

Sasuke paused in front of her apartment door, cocking his head expectantly at them as he waited for someone to unlock it. Sakura bit back a laugh and fished the key from her pocket. She unlocked the door and motioned for Sasuke to lead the way inside. He did, head held high and long hair swishing majestically behind him. Naruto lost the battle against stifling his reaction, choosing to lean against the doorway to hold himself up as he dissolved into gales of laughter. To his credit, Sasuke ignored him and sauntered into the apartment, shrugging out of his jounin shirt and pants as he stumbled determinedly toward her bedroom. Apparently the promise of water was a forgotten desire, overtaken by the siren call of sleep.

Sakura shook her head and picked up the discarded clothes, shoving Naruto through the door so she could close it, and followed their drunk teammate into the bedroom. Despite his unsteadiness, Sasuke had somehow managed to burrow under the covers, curled up into a tight ball with only a puff of silky black hair sticking out on the pillow. Trusting Naruto to sort himself out, Sakura carefully folded Sasuke’s discarded clothes and set them on the chair in front of the window before she stripped out of her own clothes, adding them to the pile. Still chuckling to himself, Naruto came into the room and began to strip, rolling his eyes good naturedly when Sakura pointed to the chair. He dutifully folded his clothes and added them to the pile before sliding under the covers beside Sasuke.

It would be next to impossible to get Sasuke out of bed again before morning, so she settled for filling three glasses with water and setting them on the nightstand. Naruto held the blanket up for her so she could slide in beside him, amused by the fact that he and Sasuke were both completely naked under the covers. Not that she was much better, having stripped down to her usual pair of tight black shorts that were far closer to boxer briefs than she had previously envisioned. None of them had cancelled the jutsu, and Sakura had to shift a bit to get comfortable with the new hardware between her legs.

Naruto, apparently fairly used to this form, watched her with a tiny smirk on his face. “All right?”

Sakura shot a half-hearted glare in his direction before she settled down. “Yes. Hey, distract him a second?”

Naruto thought about it a moment before he wriggled over onto his other side and began sliding his fingers through Sasuke’s hair. Not what she had in mind, but the way the Uchiha seemed to almost purr and shift his head into Naruto’s hands made her think it was a good call. Sakura curled up against Naruto’s back, reaching over him to touch Sasuke’s waist. A faint green glow under the covers gave away her intentions, and Naruto added a gentle scalp massage to keep Sasuke from escaping.

If Sasuke wasn’t going to drink any water, the least she could do was nudge his liver into metabolizing the alcohol faster so he wouldn’t wake up with a wicked hangover. It took a minute for her to be satisfied before she pulled her hand away again, and she was a bit surprised when Sasuke followed her. Her lips quirked up in amusement when Sasuke rolled over and shoved Naruto onto his back. Naruto was oddly pliant, blinking down at Sasuke as he threw a leg over Naruto’s and rested his head on his shoulder. It was easy to forget that Sasuke was a cuddler while drunk, and she exchanged grins with Naruto when Sasuke finally settled. Naruto curled one arm around Sasuke and lifted the other, waggling his brows at Sakura with a suggestive grin on his face. She rolled her eyes but slid one arm under his head and made herself comfortable against his other side.

“We should probably drop the jutsu,” he murmured quietly, tugging the blankets up to at least cover Sasuke’s shoulders.

Sakura closed her eyes and buried her head in the pillow for a moment, thinking. “Nah, I want to see how long I can hold it. Ever sleep in it like this?”

Naruto shook his head slightly. “No.” His sleepy grin turned cheeky. “Tonight has been a few firsts for me, actually.”

Sakura huffed in amusement. “Happy to help.”

“Why do you have such a huge bed, anyway?”

Sakura opened one eye to see that Naruto was looking at the ceiling and not at her before she closed it again. “Medical reasons.”

“Uh-huh.” She could hear his smile in his voice, but he didn’t argue. “Awfully convenient for a sleepover.”

“Naruto?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut the fuck up and go to sleep.”

A soft laugh. “Yes, ma’am.”

* * *

Hours later, Sakura came to wakefulness when a hand pressed against her waist and a distinctively feminine voice mumbled, “Naruto, get your tits out of my face.”

Another feminine voice squealed when said breasts were pushed and Sakura grunted when an elbow jabbed her side. She opened her eyes to glare at the boys, who still hadn’t lost the jutsu and were now trying to wrestle each other while still under the covers. In an interesting mix of limbs and soft curves, she angled her body away from them to avoid getting hit again. She had heard the boys complain often enough about how it felt to be hit in the groin and she had no plans on visiting that feeling herself. 

“Oi! You liked them well enough when you were using them as pillows!” Naruto’s protest was met with a pillow to the face, and Sakura decided to intervene before she destroyed her bed. Again.

Chakra infused fists struck both of them in the shoulder hard enough to bruise and they paused, turning their heads to look at her. Naruto looked more amused than upset, but Sasuke was frowning and looked more than a little mussed. She had to admit that they both looked rather cute that way, especially since they were still naked.

“Hungover?” she asked Sasuke pointedly, holding out a glass of water for him to take. 

Sasuke stared at it for a long moment before he took it and sat back on the bed so he could take a sip. “No,” he said finally.

She nodded. “Good.” She didn’t bother asking Naruto, since the kyuubi made sure he never suffered from a hangover just like her chakra control kept her from them, too.

Naruto sat cross-legged on the bed, not caring in the least that the position put everything on display. Sakura was interested to note that he had paid special attention to the genitalia of the jutsu and she had to give him points for accuracy. 

Having finished the water, Sasuke handed the glass back to Sakura so she could return it to the nightstand. “Why are we naked?” he asked, dark eyes running over their bodies with a little furrow between his brows. There was no alarm to accompany this observation, simply curiosity.

Sakura bit her lip to hide her smile, but Naruto had no problem laughing at him. “You started it, teme.”

Sasuke tilted his head to the side, thinking, but didn't dispute it. He rarely remembered the details of the time he spent while drunk, and last night was apparently no different. “And this?” He waved vaguely in the direction of his and Naruto’s breasts, and Sakura’s lack of.

He was being oddly calm about the whole situation, and Sakura thought that said a lot more about their friendship than anything else possibly could. “I wanted to learn Naruto’s jutsu.”

“For science,” Naruto added with a grin.

Sasuke looked at them both like he knew they were full of shit, but he didn’t call them out on it. Instead, he looked around the room until he spotted the chair with their clothes and shoved Naruto over so he could walk across the mattress and get dressed. Naruto sprawled out against the pillows and folded his arms behind his head. Sakura rolled her eyes at him and was only mildly disappointed when Sasuke cancelled the jutsu.

They had been naked together before, so seeing Sasuke bare-assed in her bedroom wasn’t entirely new, and standing in front of them in just her shorts wasn’t that odd, either. She was loath to cancel the jutsu though and chose to remain as she was for a while longer. For science. Naruto heaved a sigh and cancelled his own jutsu, but made no effort to cover his nakedness with clothes or a blanket.

“Get up, usuratonkachi.”

A pair of pants were thrown at his face, causing Naruto to laugh, but he tugged them on before rolling off the bed. 

“I’ll make some coffee.” Sakura tugged on someone’s jounin shirt - Kakashi’s given the faint scent of his soap and the large size - and padded out of the room and into the kitchen. She waved at Sai, who had let himself in the way all of her boys did, and started to fill the coffee pot with water from the sink.

“Sakura, you have a penis.” To his credit, Sai didn’t seem all that surprised, only mildly curious.

“Just for today,” she said, and had to bite her tongue to keep the laughter at bay when Sai simply took her words at face value and went back to what he was doing.

Naruto and Sasuke stumbled out of the bedroom, now wearing pants and rumpled shirts, and were half-heartedly shoving at one another as they crowded into the kitchen.

Sai paused with his paintbrush over the inkwell, dark eyes roving over all three of them curiously. “Did I miss an orgy?”

Sakura snorted but didn’t comment as she went about making coffee, leaving the explanation to Naruto instead.

“Yeah, we’ll invite you next time.”

Maybe she shouldn’t have let Naruto answer after all.

Sai tilted his head, considering it. “Thank you, but I decline.”

Naruto shrugged and snagged a mug from the cupboard, handing it off to Sasuke before he grabbed another for himself and one for Sakura. “Your loss.”

“Did you want coffee, Sai?” Sakura paused in reaching for a mug until Sai nodded his assent before she set a fourth in front of him, but out of the way of his ink and paper. “Where were you last night?”

“Mission.” Sai dipped his brush in the inkwell and made long, smooth strokes on the paper. Sakura leaned against the counter to watch as the lines took shape and she realized that he was drawing Naruto. It wasn’t the first time Sai had painted someone from the team, and they all had grown used to it, although Sasuke and Kakashi both would often disappear when it was their turn to model.

Sakura frowned and stepped toward him, her hand glowing with chakra as she touched his shoulder. Sai kept painting but didn’t protest as her chakra swept over his body, checking for injuries. A few nicks and cuts, but nothing serious. She healed them anyway as a courtesy, and he smiled at her in thanks.

“Hey Sai, wanna learn my oiroke no jutsu?” Naruto did the seals and poofed into his nude female glory. Sakura rolled her eyes again, and Sasuke narrowed his at the blond and shoved him off his chair. The resulting fall made Naruto lose the jutsu, but he didn’t seem upset by it and instead kicked the chair into Sasuke’s leg, making him stumble against the table.

“Oi, don’t break my kitchen.” Sakura pointed at them in a way that threatened violence if they didn’t comply. Both boys sat on opposite sides, but she kept an eye on them to make sure they didn’t try kicking each other under the table.

“I already know that jutsu,” Sai said, not looking up from his painting.

Three pairs of eyes snapped to regard their fourth teammate with varying degrees of surprise. Sasuke’s was tinged with disgust, despite the fact that he had learned the jutsu too, and Sakura wondered why the former member of Root would learn such a thing. Naruto, for his part, looked absolutely delighted.

“Hell yeah!” Naruto pumped his fist in the air and obligingly leaned back to make room for Sakura so she could pour him a cup of coffee. “Hey, what do you think the chances are of getting Kakashi-sensei to do it?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes but Sakura paused in pouring her coffee, tilting her head thoughtfully. She was already curious to see what Sai looked like with the jutsu, but Kakashi was something else altogether. She honestly couldn’t picture it. The Rokudaime was not one to succumb to bouts of shenanigans while drinking, nor was he one to be goaded into doing something he didn’t want to do just to prove he could. Then again, he did read _Icha Icha_ in public… “Probably not,” she said finally and Sasuke nodded in agreement. 

Naruto slumped in his chair and blew on his coffee to cool it. “Damn.”

Damn indeed. She figured he’d be hot as a woman, but he’d probably still wear that damn mask. 

“You think Yamato-sensei would?”

Sai shook his head but didn’t say anything. Sasuke ignored the question and quietly sipped his coffee while Sakura waved it away. “Nah, he wouldn’t do it unless someone ordered him to. The Rokudaime is the only one who could do that, and he wouldn’t just to spite you. You trying to teach everyone the jutsu now?”

Naruto grinned over his mug, blue eyes sparkling mischievously. “Hell yeah! I’m bringing sexy back.”

Sakura smirked over her mug of coffee. “Of course you are.” She leaned against the counter and watched with quiet amusement as the boys bickered over their coffee on what to do about breakfast - never mind the fact that it was after noon - and whether it was a good idea to teach the general shinobi populace the oiroke no jutsu. Naruto was all for it, naturally, and Sasuke’s flat refusal was becoming more and more ironic the more he argued it. Sai sipped his coffee ,and continued his painting, occasionally providing a comment that was met with varying degrees of enthusiasm. 

It was doubtful that she would ever use the jutsu again, but she was glad to have learned it. Even if the only true benefit had been quality time with her teammates. Still… Her lips curved into a tiny smile from behind her mug. It certainly opened the door to some very interesting possibilities.

**Author's Note:**

> ... anyway...
> 
> Reviews are amazing, so please let me know what you think!


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